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Excuse me, your melancholy is showing

October 25, 2016

Most people guess I’m sanguine (yes, I assume everyone frequently discusses personality types in terms of the proto-psychological four temperaments). I enjoy being around people. I tell jokes. A lot. And most of them flirt with the far side of “the line.” I love to laugh, and encouraging those around me is one of my favorite things in the world.

But most of the time, I’m choosing to be happy. Now don’t get your hopes up; I’m not Oprah, and this post isn’t titled “5 Easy Steps to Happiness.” But… YOU get a car, and YOU get a car!

I digress.

More often than not, I walk around with a heavy heart. Thoughts of world events, failed relationships, and deep loss swirl in my head constantly. I can cry at a moment’s notice. Seriously. The funny guy on the stage at church cries.

I feel. Deeply.

Recent events in my life have caused me to question whether this is a good thing. I mean, doesn’t emotion cause one to be unstable? Emotional people don’t make wise decisions, they simply react, right?

God didn’t create a broken version of Clayton. (Well, I mean, I’m a sinful person, Romans 3:23 blah blah blah, that’s not the point). God created me to emote. He created me to relate uniquely with those going through the mountains and valleys of life. He created me to laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn.

Clayton, at his core, is one who feels. And that’s at the center of God’s heart.

You see, God feels, too. He weeps. He laughs. He mourns.

God isn’t unstable. Far from it. A God who feels nothing is the antithesis of Yahweh. To feel is to reflect the heart of my creator.

I’m not broken. My tears do not declare me unfit. My laughter does not disqualify me from a clean bill of emotional health. I am Clayton – plain, simple, and ridiculously complicated. That’s what makes me unique.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. aunt terry permalink
    October 25, 2016 1:03 pm

    if crying means your broken our entire family is broken LOL uncle ted and I cry at the drop of a dime, mostly happy tears, some not so happy but I feel that God gave us the ability to show our emotions for a reason. I like you Clayton love being with people and making them laugh but I cry all the time about one thing or another. I find joy in the little things and tears usually follow. I love you

    • thebassoflife permalink*
      October 25, 2016 1:10 pm

      Thanks, Aunt Terry! My ex didn’t feel the same way. To be emotional is to be broken and unstable. Good thing I got out of that!

  2. Beth permalink
    October 26, 2016 1:10 am

    I couldn’t agree more and I’m so glad you’ve come the that conclusion too. You’re more like God than you thought. 🙂 Made in His image.

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