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Airport Observations

February 20, 2009

I’ve been sitting in the Cincinnati airport for about two hours now, and I have some random thoughts about airports…

  • The voice notifying me that “the local time is 12:00” is the same at every airport
  • The terror threat level is always at “Orange.”  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it being set at any other level.  I think we need to change the levels to the following:  “Dude, it’s the world, and sucky stuff can happen;” “Dude, we heard some stuff about people actually doing some sucky stuff today;” and “Dude, some sucky stuff just happened somewhere, which means some sucky stuff might happen here, too.”
  • “Caution, the moving walkway is ending.”
  • Flights to Chicago/O’Hare are usually delayed by about thirty minutes, regardless of the origin.
  • The ratio of guys on their Blackberries and/or BlueTooths who are completely oblivious to the world around them to normal people is roughly 100:1
  • Someone just probably left their bag at the security checkpoint, and I still have absolutely no idea how they managed to forget it.
  • The CNN Airport Network is exactly the same as the regular CNN.
  • My boarding gate is usually surrounded by flights arriving from exotic destinations, along with massess of tanned and Hawaiian-shirt-wearing late-middle-aged couples.
  • I had no idea they made carry-on luggage with four wheels.  That’s about the greatest idea ever.  Well, second to the “air blade” hand dryers in some of the bathrooms at MSP.
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